


Tactus Simulator

by countfuckingcrouton



Category: Red Rising Trilogy - Pierce Brown
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Blood and Gore, Drugs, Gay, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Murder, Original Character(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Torture, Violence, Yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-09 07:06:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14711403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countfuckingcrouton/pseuds/countfuckingcrouton
Summary: Tactus has fallen in love, and he will do anything to win the affections of the man he loves. Anything.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains OCs and OCs being shipped with canon characters. If you have a problem with this, please just don't read this story. If you're still willing to give me and my characters a chance, I wish you happy reading. Constructive criticism and comments are always welcome! Also, if misspell anything, it's because I listened to the Red Rising books instead of reading them.

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.” That’s what’s written on the gates of Hell, but I think it would be more appropriate hanging on my front door. My mother’s an absent drug addict who changes partners more than she changes underwear. My oldest brother’s a vicious virtuoso who laughs when I cry. And my second oldest brother, well… I don’t want to talk about him. He’s a nightmare I can’t wake up from.  
My school life isn’t something to celebrate either. I don’t have friends; I have cronies. I torment people smaller and weaker than me and perpetuate the cycle. I go to school and leave school high, and I stumble home at midnight wearing someone else’s clothes.  
I had nothing. I cared about nothing. My reality was steeped in sin and sadness. I passed from one day to another, just waiting for it all to end. But then… I met him. And suddenly my life… my life had meaning! My routine doesn’t feel so empty now. I feel alive! My heart floods with joy everytime I lay eyes on him! My family’s taunts and torments crash against my shields and die! I’m happier than I’ve ever been and it’s all thanks to him. Darrow Andromedus. My light. My love.  
…  
And now, someone is trying to take him from me. She wants him, but not in the same way that I want him. She could never appreciate him the way I do. She doesn’t deserve him. He belongs to me alone.  
I want to stop her.  
I want to hurt her.  
I want to kill her.  
There is nothing I won’t do for Darrow. I won’t let anyone come between us. I don’t care what I have to do. I don’t care who I have to hurt. I don’t care whose blood I have to spill. I won’t let anyone take him from me. Nothing else matters. No one else matters.  
Darrow will be mine.  
***  
“Hello? Is anyone there?”  
Orange and violet light streams through the open window, illuminating the wooden desks with a sunset glow. A soft breeze tickles the curtains into a soft whispering dance. I sigh and look back down at the note clutched in my hand.  
Tactus,  
I want to speak with you about something important. Please meet me in classroom 302 at 5:00. I hope you’ll be there.  
Sincerely,  
A friend  
“Listen, this better not be a prank. I rescheduled a drug deal for this,” I say crossly, speaking into the dark.  
“Aw, you should’ve told me! I know how important getting your drugs is: I feel awful without my magic mushrooms,” a feminine voice giggles. A girl my age steps out of the shadows with a dreamy smile. Her hair is a sharp violet bob with soft side swept bangs. Her eyes are a pale and luminous lavender. “Hello, Tactus. I’m Fi.”  
“Fi? The Fi?” I ask suspiciously, looking over her two toned sweater and black jacket.  
She grins. “The one who set the basement bathroom on fire trying to make LSD bumper stickers, yeah. That’s me,” she chuckles.  
I feel honored. Everyone’s heard of this legendary druggie. She’s a genius who reaches her creative heights with her favorite lab assistants, LSD and magic mushrooms and whatever other hallucinogens she can find.  
“Wow… well, why did you ask me to come here? Drugs?” I ask hopefully.  
She laughs and shakes her head. “I saw you stalking another student today,” she says. Her eyes gleam.  
I tense. “Do you have a problem with that?” I retort.  
“No. I wanted to give you some information. About the girl he was with. Her name is Evey Angeles. She has a crush on him. She’s going to confess to him this Friday,” Fi says. Shw watches me with the curiosity of a scientist watching her experiment.  
I lick my dry lips. “Why are you telling me all this?” I ask. It comes out more defensively than I meant.  
Fi’s light eyes narrow. “You’re a drug addict, and not a useful one. You’re so promiscuous that it’s a Christmas freaking miracle you don’t have every STD known to man and then some. You’re one of the most infamous people on campus. I think you need all the help you can get.  
My face burns. “W-well… I… you’re just a…” I stammer.  
“Sorry I’m late!” The door flies open and a young blonde girl with perfect curls and wide doe eyes rushes in, holding several candy bars.  
“Ah, Tactus- this is Lilina. She’s my conscience and snack provider,” Fi says, taking a Snickers from the girl.  
Lilina waves and plops down on the teacher’s desk. “Did you tell him about Evey?” she asks.  
Fi snaps her fingers and pulls a manilla folder out of her black jacket. She hands it to me with a mischievous smile. “I have files on everyone in school. If you ever need information about someone, take a picture of their face and I’ll tell you what I know,” she says.  
“Candy bar?” Lilina offers, holding out a fan of candy for me to choose from.  
I take a 100 Grand and flip open Evey’s file.  
Angeles, Evey  
Personality: Gentle  
Crush: Andromedus, Darrow  
Status: Nurse’s assistant  
Additional Information:  
A victim of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse by previous partners.  
Can’t afford to go to college.  
“The only way you’ll be able to win Darrow over is if you eliminate Evey. She’s sweet, gentle, and has a good reputation. Darrow would choose her over you in a heartbeat,” Fi says, tapping Evey’s photo.  
Eliminate. When I saw Evey today, smiling and blushing with Darrow… I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to kill her. But now all the rage goes out of me like I’m a balloon full of hate instead of helium. She’s like me. I trace the lines of her picture, understanding this girl on a deeper level than I think I’ve understood anyone. She’s beautiful. Her soft face is framed by a silky pink bob and her eyes are kind.  
“I can’t hurt her,” I murmur.  
Fi does a double take. “What? Just earlier today you were hiding a Swiss Army knife in your bag when she so much as talked to him!” Fi exclaims, violet brows furrowing.  
“Yeah, well, I changed my mind,” I tell her defiantly. I snap Evey’s file shut and slide it back across the desk.  
“There are other ways to eliminate people besides murder,” Lilina pipes up with a gentle smile.  
“Oh. Right,” Fi replies, her dreamy smile back in place. “Well, do what you will, Tactus as long as it puts Evey out of the picture.”  
My eyes narrow, and I decide to try again. “Why are you so vested in me winning Darrow’s heart?” I ask.  
“Call it altruism,” Fi says, tucking Evey’s file back into her coat.  
“Feel free to call on us anytime!” Lilina adds. She takes out a glitter gel pen and scribbles two numbers onto a candy bar wrapper. I take the wrapper and put it in my pocket.  
“But if you need something from us, you have to give us something in return,” Fi warns. “If you need my help, bring me drugs. If you need Lilina’s help, bring… artisanal bread.”  
Lilina smiles.  
I nod slowly, mind still reeling from the last ten minutes and withdrawals.  
Fi claps her hands together, beaming. “This is where we take our leave, Tactus. Good luck,” she says. She flashes me a mysterious smile before striding out the door with Lilina eagerly in tow.  
I stand in the classroom as the last light of sunset fades to gray. Evey Angeles. A kindred soul. A rival. A girl I won’t let take Darrow away from me.

You unlocked new information!  
View Now?  
(YES) NO 

! Rath, Tactus  
Personality: Yandere  
Crush: Andromedus, Darrow  
Status: Class 402  
Additional Information:  
Stalks Darrow and will do anything to win his affections.  
?????

! Andromedus, Darrow  
Personality: Tough  
Crush: None  
Status: Class 413  
Additional Information:  
Is attracted to men and women.  
Many people want to be his lover.

! ?????, Fi  
Personality: Dreamy  
Crush: Was I really going to tell you that?  
Status: I don’t want you coming into my class all the time.  
Additional Information:  
Don’t bother, Tactus. I’ll tell you what you need to know when you need to know it.

! Regulus, Lilina  
Personality: Sweet  
Crush: Volaris, Sefi  
Status: Class 414  
Additional Information:  
Will do favors for artisanal bread.  
?????

! Angeles, Evey  
Personality: Gentle  
Crush: Andromedus, Darrow  
Status: Nurse’s assistant  
Additional Information:  
A victim of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse by previous partners.  
Can’t afford to go to college.


	2. Rival Elimination: Evey Angeles

“Oh my! Your face is turning red! Do you have a fever?”  
“Come see me anytime… I’m always happy to take care of you.”  
-Evey

I went straight home after Fi and Lilina, unable to focus on anything but my new information. My mind played scenario after scenario, each a new way to get past Evey to Darrow. But they became increasingly ludicrous until the point that I was imagining pretending to be Evey’s long lost twin on the run from the authorities for stealing the Mona Lisa. After realizing I looked nothing like Evey and I didn’t even know where the Mona Lisa was kept, I resolved to just visit her the next morning.  
I always try to avoid the infirmary; their plethora of anti-drug posters make me nervous. But it’s time to face the music. I push open the door gently and peer inside. Evey sits at the nurse’s desk, humming a soft song. She looks pristine in her white uniform and pastel pink stockings. She really is cute. The old me would have started stripping here and now. All the more reason to keep her away from Darrow at all costs.  
She looks up with a politely curious and helpful expression. “Good morning. How can I help you?” she asks sweetly.  
“I’m Tactus,” I reply, dropping into the seat on the other side of her desk. I put my feet up on the desk and watch her closely.  
“My name is Evey,” she says, moving away from my feet with a very cordially disgusted expression. “So, what can I do for you today, Tactus?” she asks.  
“Uh…” Abort abort. “My… my friends told me you were hot.” I realize this is the wrong thing to say as soon as I say it.  
A shadow passes across her face. “I’m… I’m not interested. Please… please leave if you’re not sick,” she says softly, her fists clenching under the desk.  
My plan and common sense promptly fly out the window. “What the hell’s wrong with me?” I ask defensively.  
She stands and steps back from the desk. “I know who you are, and I know what you’re like. Now leave.” Though her voice is soft and trembling, there’s a hard edge beneath the surface.  
I fold my arms defiantly over my chest. “No. I’m offended you don’t find me attractive. I think I’m very handsome.”  
She pulls a syringe off her belt and points it at me. “I’ve… I’ve had enough of people like you…! Now leave me alone before I pump your blood full of oxygen and make it look like an accident,” she hisses.  
“Holy shit… what the hell’s your problem?!” I exclaim, scrambling back from her desk.  
She points to the door with a trembling finger. “Out.”  
I don’t need telling twice. I slip out the door and hear it slam behind me. My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my jeans’ pocket.  
-Nice going, idiot.  
It’s from Fi. My face reddens angrily and I send her back a sullen text.  
-What else was I supposed to do???  
-Maybe next time don’t proposition a sexual abuse victim?  
-Fi…  
That was NOT a proposition.  
-Whatever. Buy her some cookies and leave her a nice note.  
-Fine.  
I spend the rest of my day stalking Darrow, he buys two pieces of pizza for lunch, and copying notes off the girl in front of me. I know I have to improve my reputation if I want Darrow to love me. But I still have to deal with Evey.  
I leave a box of those soft sugar cookies that are probably made of cocaine in front of the infirmary door with a little note.  
Evey,  
I’m sorry about this morning. I was out of line. Please accept these cookies as a peace offering.  
-Tactus  
I’m not sorry, but if I want to take Evey out of the picture, I need to be her friend first. I knock three times before diving behind a janitor’s cart. The door opens and Evey looks around for her guest.  
“Oh? What’s this?” she says softly, bending down to pick up my gift. A cute smile appears on her soft lips as she reads the note. “Tactus? Are you still here?” she calls, glancing around the empty hallway.  
I poke my head out from behind the cart. “Not gonna pump my blood full of oxygen?” I ask.  
She shakes her head. “No. I’m sorry for threatening you like that… Please come in,” she says, gesturing to the infirmary.   
I follow her inside and close the door gently. “So uh you’re Evey Angeles. I’ve… I’ve heard some stuff about you,” I say, rubbing my hands together.   
Her hand slips on the box of cookies and it falls to her desk where it springs open. “O-oh… what… what kind of stuff?” she asks, a slight tremor in her voice.   
“I heard you can’t afford to go to college,” I say bluntly, leaning up against an anti-drug poster.  
She relaxes. “Oh, yes, that’s true. I work here to make ends meet and to save money until I can afford it,” she confesses, looking down at her hands.  
I’m struck by an idea. If.. If Evey goes to college… she won’t be around to steal Darrow! It’s the perfect plan!  
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I venture.  
Evey laughs delicately and shakes her hand. “Unless you can find 200,000 dollars lying around, no,” she says.  
Hmm…  
“Sorry, I don’t have that kind of money lying around,” I tell her, drumming my fingers anxiously against the wall. I hate withdrawals.  
Smiling sadly, she shakes her head again. “No one does. That’s kind of the problem,” she sighs.  
I watch her for a moment more. “Well, I should probably go,” I say, slinking back towards the door.  
She waves. “Thank you for the cookies, Tactus.”  
“No problem,” I reply, stepping back outside.  
“And Tactus?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Try not to overdose.”  
***  
I sit at home, staring at my shrine to Darrow. A secret photo I took of him, his receipt from a cheeseburger and fries lunch, a Coke can he threw in the recycling, a quiz he got 99% on, and his quarterback’s football jersey. Darrow’s things have a cathartic effect on me, and right now, I really need some catharsis. My nerves are tripping out worse than I am. Somehow, some way I have to come up with a way to get $200,000. I rake my fingers through my hair in anxiety. It’s like Evey said, that kind of money isn’t just lying around.  
For a moment, I contemplate going through Apollonius and Tharsus’s bank accounts, but it would be quicker to just shoot myself in the head. I sigh and flop back onto my rug. I don’t know what to do… I need help…  
My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my pocket. It’s from Fi. Fi! She’ll know what to do!  
-How did it go with the apology?  
-Listen, I need help.  
-Help with what?  
-I need $200k  
-That’s a tall order. You’ll have to bring me a lot of drugs for this one.  
-I’ll bring them tomorrow.  
-You better. If you don’t, I’ll tell the guidance counselor what you asked me for.  
-Jesus christ, I’ll have them.  
-Good. Okay so if you need that kind of money, I’d suggest robbing some ATMs. Robbing a bank takes ages of planning, and we don’t have that kind of time. So put on a disguise and get a gun. Go out and bust open some ATMs and put all the cash in the bag. Go quickly before anyone can catch you. After you’re done, DESTROY YOUR DISGUISE AND GET RID OF THE GUN. If you leave that stuff lying around, you’ll be caught for sure. Once you’re sure that you can’t be suspected, fork the money over to Evey.  
I suck in through my teeth. This plan is really risky, but… it’s all I have. I sit up and push my hair back. I commit crimes every day. I can do this.  
Once the sun sets, I assemble my disguise. I pin my bangs back so my signature hairstyle becomes a generic teenage boy’s. Dressed in my ugliest, darkest clothes and toting a massive black duffel bag, I examine myself in the mirror. I don’t look like myself. The haughty, stylish boy is gone. Now I just look like a two-bit criminal.. Perfect. Proud of my disguise, I crack open the door and peek out onto the landing. The house is silent. I slip out and creep through the hallway towards the master bedroom. My breath catches in my throat as I twist open the brass doorknob.  
Everything in my mom’s room is perfectly clean. Too clean to be lived in. I sigh and run my hand across the smooth comforter and wonder how long it’s been since she slept here. She goes to work, sleeps in someone else’s house, and back again. It’s a miracle she’s kept her job on the school board. I suppose it’s her money. I shake my head and cross the room to the chest of drawers. I yank open the top drawer. Grimacing, I push aside an ungodly amount of lacy lingerie until my fingers brush against cold metal. I smirk. Shoving the pistol down my shirt, I exfiltrate.  
I don’t meet anyone on the way out of the house. I step out into the fading light and flip my hood up. Taking an abandoned side street, I let my mind wander to Darrow. Does he even know I exist? Does he sense a loving presence watching over him when I’m near? Does he know how much I love him? How much I yearn for him? How much I need him by my side?  
I arrive at an ATM without even noticing. My mouth and throat go dry. I glance around furtively. No one’s watching. With trembling hands, I reach into my jacket and pull out the handgun. I flip off the safety and point the pistol towards the lock. I squeeze my eyes shut and pull the trigger. An ear splitting bang rips through the street and the ATM door bursts open. I flip the safety back on and shove the gun back into my jacket with shaking hands. Terrified and trembling, I drop to my knees and begin shoveling handfuls of money into my bag. I don’t how much this is, but I don’t think it’s enough. I scramble to my feet and take off at a run. Voices begin calling and shouting to each other, but no footsteps follow mine.  
I run and run and run. My heart pounds and fear rises like high tide in my brain. I stumble over a grate and fall clumsily onto the ground. The cold metal cuts into my face and hands, leaving a gridded imprint. I wipe my bloody hands on my pants and look around wildly. No one’s here.  
I place a hand over my hammering heart and pull out my phone with shaking fingers. I need… I need… I need him. Blood smearing the screen, I pull up a photo of Darrow lying under our school’s cherry blossom tree. He’s so beautiful… I feel my breathing slow and terror ebb. I pull myself to my feet and stagger down the alleyway towards the next ATM.  
It takes me a good hour and a half to steal enough money for Evey. The sky’s a navy sea now. A couple stars wink and shine at me, but light pollution cloaks the rest in its glow. I drag my bag through side street after side street, too afraid to take a main road and expose myself. At long last, I make it home. I jog around to the back of the house and drop my duffel bag to the ground. I strip off my clothes and toss them into an old, dented trash can filled with cigarettes and mulch.  
I unpin my bangs and run my fingers through my hair. I need to burn these clothes… I slip into the garage and grab Tharsus’s carton of gasoline off the floor before sprinting back to the trash can. I pull my lighter out of my hoodie and flick it on. The gasoline covers the black clothes in a glistening, yellow coat. With a grim smile, I drop the lighter into the trash can.  
The flame roars up, a bellowing tower of orange and yellow tongues. The bright light illuminates my now grinning face; I must look insane, standing in my underwear in front of a raging fire. Still riding high on my success, I scale the wall and open my bedroom window. I slip inside, bare feet hitting the floor victoriously. I slide the duffel bag under my bed and stride over to my closet to redress. My sweatpants are barely on when the door swings open.  
Tharsus leans in the doorway, dark eyes studying me with a predatory, savage gleam.  
“What are you doing in my room?” I ask, protectively covering my chest.   
“I heard your window open. You should know that you don’t have to sneak in when it’s only me home,” he says, blocking the doorway with his broad shoulders.  
My hand blindly gropes along my desk for something. Anything. My fingers find the neck of a beer bottle and I grasp it tightly. “I didn’t know it was only you,” I say shakily, taking an involuntary step back.  
He continues to block the door. “Don’t forget next time. I want to welcome you home. Like a real brother,” he purrs.  
“Get out of my room,” I whisper, breath coming in rapid rasps. “I have to… I have to do homework…”  
Tharsus lets out a bark like laugh. “You? Homework?”  
“I do have to pass my classes…! I can’t get held back,” I murmur. I squeeze the neck of the beer bottle tighter.  
He takes it. Chuckling to himself, he strides out the door to his own room. I slam the door shut behind him and lock it. Still breathing heavily, I sink to my knees. That was close. Too close. I wait until I hear Tharsus’s door close and music start before I put Mom’s gun back.   
Sitting on my bed, I watch the moon move across the sky. A sliver of war, white light, providing a path through impenetrable darkness.   
…  
Damn. That got real philosophical real fast. I shake my head feverishly. No more weird thoughts. Chalking it up to withdrawals, I pull my bookbag up onto the bed. A welcoming bottle of pills waits at the bottom. I grin. I have no idea what they are, but I love trying new things. I take two and sigh pleasurably. I think it’s called Zolodone. It’s nice.  
Calmed by my new friend, I unlock my phone and punch in Evey’s number.  
-Hey.  
-Tactus?  
-Yeah. I need to talk to you.  
-Is everything okay?  
-It’s better if I tell you in person. Meet me behind the school tomorrow. Before class.  
-Alright. I’ll be there.  
-You won’t regret it.  
Grinning, I drop my phone on top of my duffel bag and turn over to sleep.  
***  
Evey sits on a bench behind the school, patiently gorgeous. Good lord. Under different circumstances, I really would have propositioned her. I glance around the rest of the field. No one else is out here. Good. I shoulder the duffel bag and stride over to her. She looks up, pleasant and curious.  
“Tactus, why did you want to meet me here?” she asks curiously.  
I drop the bag to the ground without ceremony. “This is for you.”  
Her pink brows furrow and she hoists the duffel bag onto the bench with her. I grin as she unzips it and peer inside. She gasps and claps her hand to her mouth.  
“Is… Is this…” she stutters, looking up at me, then at the bag, then back at me.  
I smile lazily. “$200,000 in cash. Yeah,” I reply.  
She slowly plucks a hundred out of the bag and holds it up, as if checking to make sure she isn’t living in some strange fever dream. The money seems to pass the test. Returning the bill to its brethren, her eyes begin to sparkle with tears. “Tactus… I can’t believe this… I can’t believe this is really real…! How on Earth did you get this?!” she exclaims. Her tears drip freely down her cheeks; she can’t be bothered to wipe them away.  
“I can’t tell you that. All I can say is that you better kick some serious ass at college,” I grin.  
She bites her lip. “That’s a little scary, but… this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. So no matter what you did to get this money, I don’t care. You’re… you’re a good person, Tactus,” she says, placing a hand over her heart.  
Oh God. Gross. “No, I’m really not. But I’m glad I could help you,” I tell her, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment.  
Evey hesitates for a minute before throwing her arms around me. “There are a lot of bad rumors about you, Tactus… about things you’ve done…” she murmurs.  
I say nothing for several seconds. At last, I break the silence. “I’m not a good person, Evey. And most of those rumors are probably true. So don’t lose sight of your sense. Just take the money and go. Go fulfill your destiny.”  
She takes a step back and nods. Turning away from me, she picks up the duffel bag. She stops and looks back at me with a troubled expression. “Why… why did you do this?”  
“Because no one should have their dreams crushed because they can’t afford to follow them,” I lie.  
Beaming, Evey escapes back into the school and is gone. It’s Wednesday.  
Rival No. 1: Evie Angeles ELIMINATED


End file.
